Yay!

Today is Friday. I always look forward to Fridays now! Nathan will home in about 4 hours. Now I am just trying to get things tidy so that he doesn't come home to our messy house. Actually it is more messy from all our Wii equipment as the kids, Uncle Christian and I have been playing lots this past week. Beats watching nothing on tv.

My parents have had an exciting week. 2 weeks from today they will be the proud owners of a home in Florence, Arizona. :) Yay! We all have somewhere warm to retreat to when winter gets the best of us. My Mom is pretty excited about it and when my Mom is excited then it must be something special.

Roo and Tiny Man are getting ready so that we can go pick up some stuff from Walmart....should be fun. I wonder if I will be able to make it out of there without looking at the Christmas stuff....Roo is loving looking at it all!

Better Night

I just read what I wrote this morning and I have to apologize for those that may still read. I was having a difficult morning. I wrote it before I got in the shower and decided not to let my day be ruined.

I knew that I couldn't be doing that bad as I was able to jump in the shower while Roo and Tiny Man watched the Little Einsteins together. Roo telling Kaiden about what was happening and telling him to pat-pat-pat.

I think that I am doing a good job with my kids. They are loving, empathetic, smart, out going, friendly, helpful and a million other lovely things that I have had a direct hand in nurturing. I love my kids and will continue to do my best and if I find that it isn't good enough then I will do better. They deserve it.

What The Fuck????

This morning was rough. Half my kids managed to get themselves into trouble before 8:00 a.m. One of them has been getting in trouble for the silliest of things. This morning, it was lying about what she had for breakfast. Why would she lie about that? Why? What am I doing wrong that makes it so that my kids think that it is ok for them to lie to me?

The other one has to taken to lying by omission. A new concept that I had to explain to her. Just because you are not outright lying about something does not make it ok to leave out important details.

Oh. My. God. What am I doing wrong? I wish I knew what to do. I don't want to be a bad Mom....that would just prove everyone right. I am sure that there are people out there who have been waiting for 14 years for me to fuck up my kids. I guess I could understand if I was out-right a shitty parent but I really am trying.

What do you do when your best is not good enough? How do you respond to single, childless men giving you parenting pointers? What do you do when there is so much going on that you can't say anything at all because it really just proves that you are in over your head? And to think....I still have 2 more to fuck up.... :(

Hard Morning

My Dear Nathan has been working out of town for the past few weeks. It was hard to drop him off the first time but I managed. The week after was easier and I thought that it would continue to be relatively painless as I got more used to it.

WRONG. This morning was very hard. I know that I am going to "see" him every night this week (via iChat, which is the best invention ever!) and that it is only 5 days at a time that we are apart but this morning.....sucked. I tend to let my imagination run a little wild and to think the worst at times so that didn't help.

It also doesn't help that I am at the end of my rope with having someone living in my basement. I think that this situation is leading me to the land of the crazy!! My BIL said that he was going to come stay at our house for a week while the kids and I were visiting my parents.....that was in JULY!!!

He has been with us since July. Not once was I asked if he could move in. Not once. I said almost a year ago before he even moved back to the city that I did not want to have someone living with us. I have been there, done that. I didn't want to have it again....but here I am.

It is nice that he is finally giving us some money to help cover the bills. The only problem with that is that he now thinks that he is paying rent and can dictate what happens in the space that he is taking up. Have I mentioned that he is in my kids basement? The place where they once used to have a television to watch, a computer to use, a space to practice their piano?

Ugg...I don't even want to think about it anymore. Suffice it to say that I am tired of the situation and it needs to end before I get really pissed off....anyway this morning sucked. The End.

Help!!

Las Vegas for 5 nights or Disney World for 6 nights? What would you do?

Tiny Man Update

Kaiden will be 4 months old in 10 days. I can't believe how fast time is flying by. It seems that the more I try to concentrate on enjoying it and savoring his babyhood the faster it slips through my fingers.

In the last 2 weeks he has started to roll over. This makes for some surprises when I go into his room at night for his feeding. I put him in one way and he wakes up in the complete opposite direction. Now this is much more than just rolling around considering that I still swaddle him and he manages to move around without unwrapping himself.

As mentioned, he is still waking up at night to eat. He does sleep for a good stretch of anywhere between 5 and 7 hours but then he wakes up for a snack. Usually I just bring him into bed to nurse him but this is becoming less and less comfortable with his increased wiggling. I spend most nights wedged between baby feet and my cat. At least it is soft on one side.

Kaiden is absolutely adored by his big sisters. Roo loves her "tiny man" which is nice considering that for the first few days of his life she wanted nothing to do with touching him. It took many days of encouraging her before she would lay a finger on him. Darian and Camryn love him too but it is just so cool to see my 2 youngest children play.

My Little Man is a smiler too. He has these beautiful dimples that, I am sure, will melt female hearts for a long time. He also has this laugh that turns my insides to mush, he sounds like such a boy. He thinks that it is funny when I kiss him on the neck and his furry little back is ridiculously ticklish. Poor guy got his ticklishness from his Mom.

Every now and again I am still in awe that I have a son. I am so lucky!

Tuesday

Well it once again has been way too long. Thanksgiving was this past weekend. I am thankful for many things. I am thankful for a wonderful, loving husband and our 4 healthy children. I am thankful for my husband still having a job, even if it does take him out of town right now. I am thankful that his job allows me to stay home with our kids. I am thankful for my awesome friends and all the things that they support me with...you know who you are! I am thankful for my parents, grandparents, uncles and all my other family.

I am, however, not thankful for the wretched weather that we are having. It is cold and snowing already. Now, I know that I live in Alberta and I know that I was born here and somehow that should make me used to it but you know what???? I am not used to it and I don't think, at this point in my life, that I ever will be!! I hate cold, and snow, and snowy cold and all the other things that come with winter in Alberta. I keep suggesting that we move to Florida where there is sun and warm, oh yeah, and NO SNOW AND COLD! So far that is a no go. I am trying though.

Now that Thanksgiving is over and winter has begun that means that Christmas is soon. I am bound and determined to get started early on the shopping part....today in fact. I would like at least to look and see what I am getting for who. Or nobody will get anything and I will go to Vegas....that sounds like a great idea. Who wants to come?

Football Sunday

Even though the season started 10 days ago already this was my first Sunday at home to watch football. All. Day. Long. I will be watching tomorrow night as well because that is when my team actually plays.

It was nice although I have noticed that I am not quite as into the games as I am when there is no one here. Awesome-Father-In-Law was here today and so was My Dear Nathan's brother. I cannot perform in front of such a crowd. I can look forward to visitor-free Sundays I guess.