Friday, November 20, 2009


Today is Friday. I always look forward to Fridays now! Nathan will home in about 4 hours. Now I am just trying to get things tidy so that he doesn't come home to our messy house. Actually it is more messy from all our Wii equipment as the kids, Uncle Christian and I have been playing lots this past week. Beats watching nothing on tv.

My parents have had an exciting week. 2 weeks from today they will be the proud owners of a home in Florence, Arizona. :) Yay! We all have somewhere warm to retreat to when winter gets the best of us. My Mom is pretty excited about it and when my Mom is excited then it must be something special.

Roo and Tiny Man are getting ready so that we can go pick up some stuff from Walmart....should be fun. I wonder if I will be able to make it out of there without looking at the Christmas stuff....Roo is loving looking at it all!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Better Night

I just read what I wrote this morning and I have to apologize for those that may still read. I was having a difficult morning. I wrote it before I got in the shower and decided not to let my day be ruined.

I knew that I couldn't be doing that bad as I was able to jump in the shower while Roo and Tiny Man watched the Little Einsteins together. Roo telling Kaiden about what was happening and telling him to pat-pat-pat.

I think that I am doing a good job with my kids. They are loving, empathetic, smart, out going, friendly, helpful and a million other lovely things that I have had a direct hand in nurturing. I love my kids and will continue to do my best and if I find that it isn't good enough then I will do better. They deserve it.

What The Fuck????

This morning was rough. Half my kids managed to get themselves into trouble before 8:00 a.m. One of them has been getting in trouble for the silliest of things. This morning, it was lying about what she had for breakfast. Why would she lie about that? Why? What am I doing wrong that makes it so that my kids think that it is ok for them to lie to me?

The other one has to taken to lying by omission. A new concept that I had to explain to her. Just because you are not outright lying about something does not make it ok to leave out important details.

Oh. My. God. What am I doing wrong? I wish I knew what to do. I don't want to be a bad Mom....that would just prove everyone right. I am sure that there are people out there who have been waiting for 14 years for me to fuck up my kids. I guess I could understand if I was out-right a shitty parent but I really am trying.

What do you do when your best is not good enough? How do you respond to single, childless men giving you parenting pointers? What do you do when there is so much going on that you can't say anything at all because it really just proves that you are in over your head? And to think....I still have 2 more to fuck up.... :(