Tuesday, March 08, 2011


My Dear Nathan isn't feeling well right now. I hate it when he doesn't feel well. I am sick at the thought of it.

I have only ever had 1 major panic attack in my life. It was horrible. I thought I was having a heart attack. I couldn't breath. My chest hurt, I felt nauseous. My chest was so tight it felt like I was having the life squeezed out of me.

It happened shortly after returning home from the hospital with My Dear Nathan. He hadn't been feeling well, just had a cold. Through out the day he had started to feel worse. His head hurt, he couldn't open his eyes, his neck was so stiff that he couldn't turn his head.

I was fine while we waiting patiently in the Emergency Room. I was fine when they rushed him in because of his head symptoms. I was fine when they told us that it was just a really, really bad sinus infection.

I was fine right until we got home. Then I lost it. Panic attack set in. It lasted for about half an hour. It took me a bit to figure out what it was and where it had come from. The thought of losing My Dear Nathan or of anything being wrong with him, well, it scares the ever-loving shit out of me. He is my best friend, the love of my life, my baby daddy and my meal ticket (just jokes!!!).

He is at the Medi-Centre right now. He is texting me to re-assure me that he will be fine. I know he will but I have a bit of an over reaction problem. I think I need an intervention.


Princesstefer said...


Anonymous said...

Hugs too. Hope everything is okay with Nathan.