Christmas meltdown

So after the last 2 days of sappy Christmas cheer I am all out. I have officially gone on strike!!

The laundry is still not done. I don't care. I will wash what I need and that is it. I will no longer be picking up dirty Nathan clothes and if Camryn wants hers clean, she better remember to put them by the washer. I will, of course, continue to wash for Ryleigh as it is not her fault that the rest of her family are a bunch of ungrateful buttheads. Darian is already in charge of doing her own laundry.

I have had no help with wrapping gifts. I have had the fortune of having Nathan haul them around for me...all the way down the hallway. Poor baby. It is no wonder he needs to rest so much, what with all the physical labour.

I am tired of baking cookies. It is fun but last night I had to clean my oven and now have to wipe it out in order to finish baking. Would it be bad if I went to the grocery store and passed off store bought as my own?

And now here it is, 4:00 and I have no idea what I am making for supper. I totally forgot that I have to feed my family tonight. I have nothing taken out of the freezer and really don't want to make a mess in the kitchen that I have now cleaned about a hundred times this week.

Nathan is on call at work tonight and has to go out to finish his shopping, so I can count on him doing absolutely nothing around here. I guess I have the fun job of going out and shovelling away mile high windrows so that we have room to park vehicles in front of our house.

BAH HUMBUG!!!

I should go now...I have an oven to clean out....and laundry to do. It would be so much easier to be on strike if I had no kids. I don't want them to be disappointed.

My Christmas Poem.

Twas the days before Christmas and all through the house
everything needed cleaning...even the mouse.
The laundry was piled in the basement, waist high
with hopes the laundry fairies buried beneath wouldn't die.

The baking is not finished, there are presents to wrap
still shopping to do, how do I fall into this trap?
The kids are counting the days left of school
then they are home for 2 weeks!!! Now, please...thats just cruel!

My parents are coming, my brother and Jen
with all of them here I'll need a beer, perhaps ten!
We'll eat turkey and ham, potatoes and corn
and have all the leftovers for breakfast, Boxing Day morn.

For all the complaining in this little poem
without all the ruckus, it just wouldn't be home.
I'll hold my breath while my girls open gifts
and play with our baby, we'll all take some shifts.

Christmas is coming, work must be done
but in the end it pays off with a day full of fun!
I love my family, my husband, our life
and wish in the end that we could do it all twice!!

Does anyone know the meaning of Christmas?

Tonight is the girl's Christmas concert. Every year I look forward to seeing my children up on the big stage belting out Christmas tunes that I have never, ever heard of.

Then I get to the school. All the excitement drains from my body like a soul sucking leech is stuck to my big toe. First off there is never anywhere to sit. The school gym is crammed like a can of sardines with parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, Billy's second mother's brother's dog's babysitter who picks up Billy from school, and the inevitable drunk who makes an already bad smelling gym worse.

I find myself standing in the back of the gym craning my neck over the giants who only ever seem to come out at Christmas time and insist on standing in front of me...little me...as opposed to in front of the other giant who is a few inches taller.

Then the concert starts after the incoherent ramblings of a school principal with a heart of gold. I watch as the cute little kids put their hands over their eyes looking for their families, both their immediate family and their so distant family, they could marry. Meanwhile the giant shifts his weight and I am now staring at the crack of a giant ass, while the drunk is stumbling out of his seat to pee....again.

This continues for unknown song after unknown song, until finally my girls are up!! The soul sucking leech has had his fill and is taking a break as now I can feel excitement welling up within me. I see my girls march proudly up the stage stairs........only to see them disappear behind the offspring of the giant standing in front of me!!!!

By the time the drunk sits back down and the giant shifts his weight to the other foot, the song has ended and I see the top of my children's heads as they stand up from their bow!!! Now comes the dilemma. Do I leave now or wait until the end of the concert?

The answer comes to me in a flurry of activity. The drunk is not feeling well and has lurched out of his seat for the door. The giant also sees this opportunity and bolts. I am finally standing with a fine view of the stage. The leech has moved onto bigger and better things (the giant, or maybe the drunk, I don't care at this point) and I am so excited I could pee my pants.

All the excitement pays off in the end. My girls take the stage with the rest of the school for their big finale. The giant and offspring have left the building, the drunk has decided to camp out in the bathroom until their child comes looking for them and I am left, tears in my eyes, with "the best seat in the house". My children sing their hearts out, with their hands over their eyes looking for me. I wave, and they wave back. They proudly take their bow and exit. The curtain closes.

All the parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and even Billy's twisted relatives rush for the door. I take a moment to drink in my children's performance one more time in my head while I smile and I know what Christmas means to me. My children. Thats it. They are Christmas.

Life Resumes

YEAH!!! YEAH!!! YEAH!!!

I FINALLY have my house back!! I never knew that the sweet sound of silence would be so welcome. There is no snoring, no loud, heavy, I'm about to have a heart attack on your couch breathing, no burping, no farting, no ear-picking, no Smiley-Ryleigh. NO DEL!!! Woo Hoo.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the man. But I do appreciate him much more from afar. I love that he loves my kids and the whole creating my husband part but I do not love sharing my home with him (or anyone else for more than a few days at a time, just so you don't think that I am only prejudice to fathers-in-law).

Now I begin my mission of cleansing my house. This is the slight case of OCD taking over. I have already stripped the bed right down to the mattress to wash. If the mattress would fit in my washing machine, it too, would be cleaned. I am airing out the smell of old man in the bedroom as we speak. My feet are freezing as I sit here typing but it is a good freezing. A Del-free freezing.

Oh happy, joyous day!!! How I thought you would never come.

I can happily prace around my house in my birthday suit. I just had it washed and it is ready to make an appearance. My baby will not be yelled at with any words that rhyme with her name. My couch will again be able to breath.

And I will once again have unlimited access to my computer!!! Lovely machine that it is. Perhaps I will be able to set up my new Mac Mini.

I am going to rejoice in the deafening silence of my home now. For the few days that I will have it before my family comes.

See this same post from Nathan next week!!!