Procrastination

Short and sweet today.

Procrastination = leaving for 10 day trip in less than 48 hours. Still have not packed for myself or 2 tiny children. Should be an interesting day tomorrow. Ugggg....why do I do this to myself?

Exciting Things

This week has seen some exciting things happen....

My Tiny Man started to take his first steps. He is getting braver by the second. He tries to walk and then must figure out that it is just faster to crawl so down to hands and knees he goes. He will take about 5 or 6 steps at a time. I can't believe he is growing so fast. He has 4 teeth now as well. I am sure that he is going to get more real quick as the whole lower half of his face is covered with a rash. Poor boy, he always looks like he got beat up.

Darian brought home a report card that shows she is putting effort into school. There are still things that need to be worked on (gym for one) but I am seeing improvement in what matters to me (not gym). Camryn should be getting hers this week. I am sure all will be good. :)

I booked our flights to Orlando. I can't wait. All I have to do now is buy our park tickets and any extra tickets (Cirque Du Soleil and Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party). Our room has been booked for some time already but the flights....the flights mean we are actually getting there! I found a good price (as far as I know) through Expedia with good arrival and departure times and to top it all off I got some Airmiles.

Counseling session went well. Just talked mainly about how I would like to improve my relationship with my older daughters. I have been given some reading materials and find that as I read through them that I really am not doing EVERYTHING wrong, just need to change some approaches. I will work on the parenting part of me and continue to journal and get some things off my chest for the me part of me. I will take Darian into the counselor when we (and the counselor) return from holidays. I hope that she will take some good from it as well. She is a great kid who is just testing the water and making some not so great choices but I want her to know that she doesn't need to make some of the mistakes she is making in order to live her life.

I bought some new lamps for my living room. May not seem exciting but at least now I can see things in my house at night. I am excited about that. I also moved a gigantic chair out of our living room and into Roo's room. Now she has somewhere comfy to sit when she watches her movies. With the chair gone it also gives Kaiden more room to practice his new skill.

We are now just a little over a week away from our big trip to Phoenix. It should be fun. I am a little nervous about the 30-something hour trip to get there but I am sure that we will manage. I am extra excited about it because it snowed here again today and the temperature is supposed to dip right when I am arriving to sunshine and +30 weather. I can't wait!!!

Thursday

Finally.....this week seems to be taking forever to get through. I have been extra busy doing some research on what is looking like our next big family adventure. I will fill you in when final decisions have been made. It is a big one though.

There has been lots of big things addressed around here lately. The biggest for me being that I am going to start counseling next week. I am finding that I am not communicating with my older kids. I need to fix that. I am also realizing that I have some issues that need to be sorted out. I am nervously excited about going. I have known for some time that this is something that I should do but never actively took the steps to make it happen.

I have a feeling that there will be some major changes in our family. All in the hopes of making things better. Don't get me wrong, things are ok but I know that there is room for improvement. I am starting to really grasp what is important to me for my family and am tired of just sitting on my ass thinking about all the changes that I should be making.

I am even going to schedule an appointment with the trainer at the gym in an effort to get my fat ass out the door. Another thing that I am tired of having, as I have previously mentioned, is a fat ass. I am working on it though. I am trying not to get discouraged by set backs that I am having at Weight Watchers. I am still going even when I suspect it will not be a good week.

Yessir!! Ima changin'!!! Hope it stays this way and it all works out. I feel optimistic and I like it.

Monday

Here it is, another start to the week. Hoping for a good start and an even better week.

We had a very long weekend here. I am not going to get into it here just know that there are things that need to be worked on and that the necessary steps have been taken (if you care).

We enjoyed a quiet weekend. We needed to buy our boy a new car seat. He has outgrown his bucket seat and is now riding in style in a brand new 5 point convertible car seat. He has sprouted his 3rd tooth, 1st on the top. His teeth are coming in like his sister's teeth did (except Camryn, she was "normal"), where his first top teeth are not the ones in the middle but the ones on either side. He will look like a vampire. :)

Roo came down with a cold this weekend but is taking it like a trooper. She is sniffly and coughing but is still her funny little self.

Darian and Camryn both spent the weekend in trouble. I am not real impressed with my older daughters at the time so we will move on.

We watched some movies this weekend, had a bbq thanks to our beautiful weather and My Dear Nathan went to a concert. One of the tires on our stroller went flat during our walk and will need to be repaired. Glad it happened when My Dear Nathan was with me instead of earlier this week while Roo, Kaiden and I were out for a walk.

I am happy that I am now officially under 200 days from my vacation. It is very important to me and some days is all that I think of and is the only thing keeping me sane. My Dear Nathan is excited about it too. We went over menus this weekend to decide where we would like to try to eat while we are there.

I am hoping that this week is an improvement from the last.

So Pissed....

I have received my cell phone bill for the month. Since the beginning of the year I have paid over $750.00 in cell phone bills. Of that total $250.00 of it is for my iphone. The other $500.00????? My daughter. My daughter who is in so much trouble right now that I can barely look at her.

Yes I have taken it away from her. I took it away from her weeks ago. Still in those few days that she had the phone since my last bill she managed to send and receive 3000 text messages!!! What the fuck do kids have to say that is so important that within a span of 2 weeks they need to send and receive 3000 text messages!!!

Me thinks my daughter will be looking for a job. And the first $500.00 of her pay......going right in my pocket. I am so pissed off right now I could breath fire! She has had a cell phone for more than 2 years already, this is the first time that she totally didn't give a shit about it costing us money. I have raised a selfish, self-involved teenager........I fail :(

Kid-Free Weekend

I had a childless weekend and it was spectacular!!! I drove to my parents Thursday night, arriving around 11 pm. I decided to drive that night as I wasn't tired and being that I am never guaranteed a good night sleep I thought I better go while I knew I would stay awake.

Friday morning I just hung out, had lunch with my Mom and then away I went. I drove home, all alone, listening to my music nice and loud and basking in the sunshine. I got home just in time to change my clothes and pick up My Dear Nathan from work.

We came home and decided to head to a local casino that we have never been to before. We had Nathan's brother and a good friend of mine join us for the evening. It was all sorts of fun. We ate at the sports bar in the casino. It was ok, but nothing worth writing any more about. We were treated to watching Jon Montgomery win a gold medal in the Men's Skeleton while we ate. It was so exciting.

We gambled a little, didn't win anything though. Being there just made me want to go back to Vegas in a bad way.

We slept in on Saturday. I didn't get out of bed until 3:30 in the afternoon. I loved every second of it. I needed some good, uninterrupted sleep. I feel so much better, even after a weekend of late nights.

Saturday night was our night at our neighbourhood pub. We invited some friends along to help celebrate my birthday. While not everyone we invited showed up we were joined by a handful of awesome people! I thank every single one of you that showed up. Especially Leanne, Marty and Monique who came despite only having met me once or not at all! :) Thanks again. I had a great time.

At the end of the night we just came home, made some fancy pomegranate drinks with the Grey Goose that My Dear Nathan bought me (I love that he indulges my expensive tastes :D), listened to some music and eventually, at some crazy early hour, decided to go to bed.

We met my parents half way at 5:00, picked up my babies, who I missed like crazy and came home. And now begins another week. I dropped off My Dear Nathan for work this morning, have sent one kid off to school and am getting the other ready. I have some major house work to catch up on after my lazy weekend.

I have another weekend to look forward to as well. This Saturday is my Spa day from the kids, Ladies night and hopefully a birthday meal with my family.

Family Day

Family Day was pretty uneventful around here. It involved sleep and the Olympics. Our whole weekend involved the Olympics. Since they have started we have not watched anything else. It is so exciting to see our athletes doing well and hey, look at us with 4 medals already!! Go Canada Go!

This week is going to be a short week. On Friday I will be driving my kids to my parents house where they will spend the weekend. Which means that we will be kid-free this weekend. Which is exciting. So. Very. Exciting. I am in great need of a kid-free weekend. The only thing that would make it even better is not having to get up and pump an ounce of milk. That will not happen but at least I can nap whenever I want to.

We are also going out on Saturday night for my birthday and we will be going out on Friday to celebrate a late Valentine's Day. I hope that Saturday is fun. We are going to our neighbourhood pub, which is almost always a good time. They have free popcorn and peanuts. And you get to throw peanut shells on the floor. :) And there are no kids there.....and even if there were....none of them would be mine! Yessirree I am some excited for this weekend.

Saturday will also mark only 1 more week until my day at the spa, which my children gave to me for Christmas. This is another day that I have been looking forward to for some time.

I am excited for this week. Olympics to watch, nice weather (which hopefully will involve the sunshine), only 3 nights away from My Dear Nathan and then a blissful 3 hour drive home from my parents, sans children to start my weekend!!!

I also have to add that it is only just after 7 am and the sun is starting to come up!! :)

Another Yay!

I forgot to mention.....I had so much food for Super Bowl Sunday....like enough to feed an army. With cheese. And bacon. And fattening in it.

At my WW meeting last Tuesday I identified this Sunday as being a struggle that I would have to get through for the week. I made the decision to be happy to not gain any weight for the week. I was going to enjoy my game and try to be good. I am not sure that I would call Sunday a success or not as I ate so much that I felt sick for a better part of the night.

Tuesday arrives. I seriously consider not going to WW, not wanting to see what kind of damage I had done. But I went, because I have learned that when you want to run is exactly the time when you need to be there.

I am pleased to say that through all the bacon, cheese and fattening stuff of the weekend I managed to lose 0.6 lbs. I couldn't believe it. I actually yelled "you're kidding me?!?!?!" at the poor lady who was weighing me in. I got a sticker :)

Yay!

We have a tooth finally! I may not be saying yay the first time Kaiden decides to try out his little chomper on me but for now we are happy that it has finally arrived.

If Ever....Now...

I just want you to tell me what you think....

Human beings are not good or bad... they are running, forever changing compositions of the life experience(s) that influences them. The "quality" of a human being ( if there was such a thing ) is directly related to the upbringing and thus belief systems they have been conditioned into.

I need to know what you think about this statement.......

Woo Hoo Friday!!

I loves me some Fridays, yes I does!!!

Only a mere 90 minutes until My Dear Nathan comes home. Have the kids almost all settled in with instructions on how to order and pay for pizza while Mommy and Daddy have some alone time over a jug of Gunther's at Brewsters.

There are important things for us to discuss, such as what kinds of food to serve at our Superbowl Festivities on Sunday (naturally). I am so 'scited!!! My Colts (of course they are mine, I own them) are playing against the Saints of Narlins. Should be interesting because my brother in law is a Saints fan. I am going to make a jello that I made for the last Superbowl the Colts played in, which they won. Isn't it cute...

We even made a tiny Peyton Manning to go on the jello field. (Note the ugly blue kitchen I had at the time....blech!) My only wish is that I could have found a Colts jersey for my Tiny Man to wear. I did find a Jaguars one in the Value Village today but that will just not do!! Heres hoping for a big ole' win on Sunday.

Happy Friday y'all!!!

Ubma

This is how Roo insists that her Daddy told her how to spell bunny. She will hear no part of b-u-n-n-y.....her Daddy said ubma!

Why are we talking about ubmas? Because Roo has taken to playing all of the Facebook games. She plays Petville, Yoville, Fishville and Happy Pets. Just in case you were all wondering why I am constantly on Facebook. It isn't me. It is Roo. Every time I turn around she is on my computer. I already bought her an iPod Touch so that she would lay off my phone. I do not think that she will be getting her own laptop anytime soon. Maybe her own Facebook profile though.

Her name would simply be "roo". She knows that spells Roo. That is her name, after Ryleigh of course.

Me: "What is your name?"

Her: "Ryleigh-roo."

Me: "How do you spell it?"

Her: "One r and two o's."

Me: "OK that spells Roo. Do you know how you spell Ryleigh?"

Her: "I tole' you....one r and two o's."

Me: "No it is R-Y-L-E-I-G-H. Ryleigh."

Her: (Hands on hips, getting mad at me) "No....it is ONE R AND TWO O'S I TOLE' YOU!!!"

I give up.....Roo enjoy your ubma :)

28 Day Organizing Challenge

Check this out!

This is from a website that I like to frequent, which frequently leads me to say "hmmmm.....maybe I should stop procrastinating and actually organize this house like I keep saying I am going to".

I have decided that I am going to participate in the 28 day challenge. In the last few days I have been washing the walls in my living/dining room because I desperately want to paint them. I do believe that I have mentioned this before. I am going to use this challenge to hold myself accountable to wanting to do this.

My living room has become a baby zone. I have large furniture which doesn't help the situation either. Have I ever mentioned that I hate my furniture, talk about buyer's remorse!! Ugggg.....perhaps once I have the room painted, new curtains and maybe even a new layout I will enjoy the room a little bit more.

I will take some pictures of the room for the required before shots but I think that I will keep them to myself until the end. Or maybe not. I just don't know at this point. I also have a few small areas which I will take pictures of.....if nothing else maybe I can at least enter in that category.

I dunno. I want to get this done. I want to live in a house where I don't constantly feel overwhelmed by stuff and mess.....this is all sounding familiar. I think that I have said all this before. Maybe that is enough of a reason to join the challenge. Prizes certainly don't hurt either.

This n' That

Tuesday. That means it is weigh in day. I did not have a stellar weekend. Mostly because I drank too much beer and didn't eat enough. It is also hard to eat properly when you are sleeping, another thing that I did quite a bit of this weekend. I need the sleep though. I love my Tiny Man but he needs to start sleeping better before I have to check myself into a looney bin.

Speaking of my Tiny Man. I have a feeling that the little turkey is going to walk sooner rather than later. I have set up his playpen in the living room so as to keep him contained for short periods of time so that I can do things like, say, go to the bathroom. I was watching him yesterday while he was in it and he let go of the sides and stood on his own for a little while. Turkey....growing way too fast! I have also realized that if I don't go shopping for him soon he will have no clothes. I don't think that it can wait until next month when we go to Phoenix either. Thankfully I have met some new ladies at my Moms and Tots group that have little boys that have offered some of their outgrown clothes.

I have bags of clothes from Darian and Camryn have outgrown to go through. I will probably keep a few things for Roo but with a lack of space for storage, there will not be that much. I have a bin in the garage that I started. With my luck I will forget about it until she is too big for all the clothes anyway. I am hoping to be able to get my garage cleaned out soon so that we can park our van in it again. I am sure we will get it done just in time to not have to worry about snow or cold.

I am also hoping in the next few weeks for some nice weather so that I can paint in my living room. I am sure that I have mentioned this umpteen times here but I really do need to get it done. I have had the paint for over a year and am tired of looking at the cans. Not to mention that I am tired of having a house that is in a constant state of renovation. I know it will probably be next year, at the earliest, before we can afford to put down new floor but maybe having the walls done will be extra incentive to start saving hard for that!

I have to start saving for our trip in September as well. I want to have a minimum of $3000.00 to go with so that we can really enjoy ourselves on our trip. I am so looking forward to it that I think I might be a little crazy. Once we get our tax refund (which I am fairly confident should be a good one) we will be well on our way. I have stayed on top (for the most part) of all of our bills over the Christmas season which makes things easier. It will also help that My Dear Nathan will be working some 12 hours shifts at work starting this week. Yay! :)

Well, my Tiny Man is ready for a nap, my Roo is ready for some breakfast and if I continue to sit and waste my time on the internet I will be ready for a nap and to make today's to-do list an "I'll do it tomorrow" list. Did that yesterday!

Weigh In

I had my Weight Watchers meeting tonight. In week 1 I lost 1.6 lbs. Not bad. It is a healthy weight loss and still puts me on track for a goal that I set for myself. I would like to be down 5% of my weight by my birthday.

I will not lie though. I was hoping for more. I guess that this week I will just have to work that much harder. I did good with the eating. I ate all (or most of) my daily points allowance which is something that I struggle with. I just find not eating to be so much easier....it doesn't require any preparation or thought. I think that my weight problem has way more to do with this mindset than simply over eating. I need to get out of the mind thought that food=fat.

I often watch The Biggest Loser and they always seem to have a person on that has some sort of an emotional breakthrough. I have been thinking about my life and trying to figure out if there is something that happened that may have contributed to weight gain. I don't think that is the case for me. I don't eat and think about, or not think about, bad things that have happened. I think about how fat is this going to make me. I think about, well I would just rather not think about eating.

This week I am going to try to get in all my food and add a day of exercise to the week. Roo enjoys doing the Wii Fit with me so as long as she wants to play I will have no excuses not to. She had me doing it today when I wanted to nap :)

Here's hoping for better numbers next week!!

7 Months

Yesterday my Tiny Man turned 7 months old. He decided to put his party pants on and keep me up until almost 4:00. Good thing he is cute because I was tired and would not have put up with that from just anyone. Oh well, we watched The Great Escape on television. That Steve McQueen, he was so macho! :D

Kaiden is crawling and learning how to pull himself up on the furniture. He looks a little worse for wear though as he has not learned how to sit down and usually just falls over when he is done grabbing at everything at his standing level. His forehead is a little blue and bumpy. My Dear Nathan tells me to get used to it as boys are always bumping themselves and looking like they wrestle with tigers.

I am hoping that in the next 5 months Kaiden will begin to sleep through the night because honestly....I need him to. By the end of the week I am so tired and then I spend half my weekend with My Dear Nathan home and looking after the kids while I sleep....I would rather be out and doing things with my family.

Kaiden has started to become quite the story teller....mostly stories about Da Da Da Da....figures Ma Ma Ma Ma is way too tired to tell exciting stories about lol.

Off for a nap while he does....thankfully Roo will lay with me for some quiet time.

Day 2

I did it on Tuesday. I waffled right up until the time that I was leaving on whether or not I was going to go to that Weight Watchers meeting. I had all sorts of excuses...I don't have money today. Even if I have money today if I don't commit to it I will just be wasting money. I ate bad things today, I will start tomorrow and be prepped for next week. It is snowing. It is cold. It is winter. I have a baby at home....and so on and so on. But I did it. I just went.

I am not happy to say what my weight is and it is not the all time high that I was at my first prenatal appointment with Kaiden, but it is not great. I am pleased to say that it does not include a consecutive 2 and 5 which is what I was thinking.

I have done good with the eating these last 2 days. Stayed within my target without going over. I even dusted off the ol' Wii Fit today. I only managed to get in 20 minutes during one of Tiny Man's catnaps but it is 20 more minutes of movement than I have been doing up until today.

I hope that I see good results on Tuesday. I made a half-assed attempt to rejoin a few months ago and knew I was on a crash course when I didn't lose on the first week. I knew in my head that I wasn't ready then but I tried to tell myself I was going to do it. I don't feel like that this time. I don't feel like I am telling myself that I have to do this, I am just doing it. I don't want to be this size in Florida. I want to feel better about myself in Florida. I want to feel better about myself everyday.

I have a target of losing 5% by my birthday. It is totally doable. I am going to do it. Now I just need to figure out what my reward will be for reaching this goal. Suggestions? I do know that I need new jeans and almost always buy them from the US....hmmmm....will be there at the end of March. Maybe buying a smaller size would be a good reward! :)

At It Again

I have to do it. I have to. I am going to bite the bullet and go back to Weight Watchers. I have had success when I have done Weight Watchers but then I get complacent and quit, thinking that I can do it on my own. I can't. I admit it. I suck at trying to lose weight on my own.

I don't want to weight 5000 lbs. when I go back to Florida in 8 months. I don't want to weigh what I do now. I need the accountability that comes with the weekly weigh in. I know that I have all the support in the world from My Dear Nathan, I just have to support myself.

I sit here during the week and watch shows like The Biggest Loser. I would love to do what they do but I can't. I have other things to worry about and I have no Bob or Jillian. I have me. I know that I can do Weight Watchers. I have done it before. I want this to be the last "before".

Weekend

This weekend definitely had some ups and some downs.

The downs included:

• My satellite radio being stolen out of my van. Now I am not sure why someone would steal it as it is no good to anyone else. It was not activated and has now been reported stolen making it impossible to activate it. They ripped the antenna so unless they have one...again though...no programming makes for a boring radio.
• My satellite receiver in the house is kaput. I have a new one coming via the insurance program I pay for but I am more than likely going to lose the programming that I had recorded on the hard drive. This makes me mad because there were pay per view movies on it that I haven't had a chance to watch with My Dear Nathan yet.
• Certain conversations that I had with Awesome-Father-In-Law and Awesome-Brother-In-Law. I really wish that they or us would move far away from each other so that I didn't have to deal with them. Every time I try to get somewhere with them, for the benefit of my kids, it goes nowhere. Oh well....I will not be the one who goes through life thinking that I am a good Grandpa/Uncle even though my grandchildren/nieces/nephew can't be bothered with me.
• My Dear Nathan was ever so helpful and put in some laundry for me. Down side of that...he overloaded the washing machine causing it to shake so bad that a full bottle of laundry soap fell on the floor and broke. Yay! I love gooey, soapy messes! :(
• Of minor consequence, both the Cardinals and the Cowboys lost this weekend. Those were both the teams in the NFC that I was hoping would win.

The ups of the weekend include, but are not limited to:

• My Dear Nathan being at home for an extra night this week.
• After taking her ipod to school when she wasn't supposed to and having it disappear, we got Camryn's ipod back, in complete working order.
• Going out for beer with My Dear Nathan.
• Our awesome weather. Warm and sunny in January makes for a happy Mamma Schmoo.
• My Dear Nathan cleaning behind the stove. A project which I have been wanting to get done but am unable to do alone due to the weight of my stove. While I slept in yesterday MDN did it for me.
• My Dear Nathan letting me sleep in. Although I am still up with Kaiden it is nice that I am allowed to sleep in after MDN gets up for his shift with our Tiny Man.
• It was nice of whomever stole our radio out of our van to leave all of our kid's DVDs. They are likely worth more than the radio is and would have been more expensive to replace.
• Knowing that My Dear Nathan may be working some 12 hour days soon. Since he is out of town he would prefer to be working as much as possible. 12 hour days make for nice paycheques.
• The Colts winning their game.
• The Chargers losing their game.
• Only 245 more days until Florida :)

Bad Night

Last night was rough. Really rough. So rough that even now I still feel like crying. Kaiden was up all night. I am not sure what his deal is but the past few weeks have been horrible, sleep wise. I cannot get over how different he is from the girls. He is so busy. He hits, he pinches, he digs his toes into my leg. I spend all day feeling like he is beating the crap out of me and he isn't even 7 months old yet!!

My Dear Nathan will home tomorrow night. A bonus night at home. He still has to work on Friday but at least I will have him here to help me tomorrow. I feel so bad for relying on Darian to help me all the time. I broke down in tears tonight telling her that I really do appreciate all the help that she gives me around here. I am not cut out for this single Mom life :(