Wasting Time

For the last few years I have been attending a Parents & Tots program at my Community League. It was nice to get out once a week and have some adult conversation and some other kids for Roo and Kaiden to play with. The lady that was running it last year no longer has kids at home as her youngest is in Kindergarten now. As I was going to be around and really enjoyed myself I volunteered to take over the program.

There really isn't much to it. Show up, set up tables and toys, clean toys when needed and enjoy the company. Problem is.....no one is coming. In the last few weeks there has been a few people come but other than that I could count on one hand how many times I have had people show up.

I changed the morning in hopes that others would join us but no luck. Only the same few people are showing up and like I said, it has only been a few weeks. I hate going and sitting there by myself. I know that the President of the Community League has said that she appreciates that someone is running the program because it gives the opportunity for parents to come when they want. Problem is that I would rather be taking part in another parents groups where I am getting what I want out of the time. Someone to talk to, kids for mine to play with and time worth spending.

I am very much a home body. I love just staying at home. I don't leave unless I have too. I hate leaving my house to waste time in a place where I get nothing done. Granted, as I am sitting in a empty hall, with only my 2 constant companions I have all these ideas of what I would be doing if I were at home, knowing full well that I wouldn't be deep cleaning my kitchen or doing laundry, but the option is gone when I am not home.

I feel bad because one of the few people that do come said Hi to me this morning and explained that it was too cold and she was just dropping off her daughter at playschool. I kind of blasted her a bit about having better things to do with my time than sitting there by myself and yadda, yadda. She didn't deserve to be on the end of my rant but at the same time it is no warmer for me or my kids to be anywhere. To make matters worse is I couldn't get the furnace to work in the hall, so the temperature for the 2 hours we were there was a balmy 15 degrees.

I just wish that I felt like my time wasn't being wasted. There is nothing that I hate more than when people assume that my time is somehow expendable or less valuable than theirs. I hate it when people make plans with me and then blow me off or say they will call and then don't. Or a multitude of other things that result in me planning my time for them or setting aside time for them. I guess I will just have to start making better use of the time that I have set aside for my community and make it work for me and maybe stop bitching so much.