Today is my 35th birthday. It is going to be just like any other day. Only today I will bake myself a cake. I am not cooking dinner tonight though. I find myself sitting here with a very overwhelming sense of loneliness and sadness. I am not quite sure why though.
I have my 2 babies home with me, My Dear Nathan will be home tonight, I have a friend coming for coffee this afternoon. Not sure why I feel like crying.
I wanted to go for some drinks tonight with friends but I don't feel like trying to find clothes that fit, trying to make my hair look decent or spending money on something that I really don't need to spend money on.
My parents are in Arizona right now so I won't see them today (not that I would have if they were home either). I will talk with them later but all they have been doing is rubbing their trip in my face. I would give anything to be somewhere warm right now. I hate this weather and it is getting to me. I wish that I were in Florida right now. I had planned on being there right now for Camryn's and my birthday. We went to Arizona at Christmas time instead. We went to spend Christmas with my parents there. They made us feel so uncomfortable with their behaviour that we left after spending only 2.5 days with them. We did have a blast in Vegas and for most of the rest of the trip so it was not all bad.....but I would much rather be in Florida right now.
Blah....this is depressing. I apologize. On the good news front I rolled up my rim and won a free coffee!! Roo and I are going to bake my cake now. I had to go buy a pan from Zellers and picked up a raincheck for diapers as they are half off right now! Good score, thanks to Frugaledmontonmomma.
Can't wait for My Dear Nathan to be home, perhaps I will indulge in a Blue Moon later....closest to Florida I will get today.
2 comments:
I had not feared turning 35 one bit until my friend told me it was her worst birthday ever. I hope yours gets better (and it has got to warm up soon). Resolve to not let your parents guilt you for this whole 35th year. Talk to you soon (and happy birthday!).
Cam
Hmmm, where to start.....okay first off, I think you need to lay boundaries with your parents. Make it clear to them that you will not be their sounding board anymore. Glad you are feeling better, happy you are taking steps to make the things better that you feel need to be better. The overwhelming sadness...boooo. I hate talking on the phone, however, I am just a call/text/email/10 blocks away and I will try to claw out of my depressing cave if you do the same. Now why wasn't all this said when I was just at your house? I hope the rest of your day goes better than the first half....and if it doesn't, stop and smell the tulips!
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