One Year

To the Lady:

Happy one year anniversary. It was one year ago today that your carelessness cost me my car. Thank god for you that was all. Thank god that I had just dropped my kids off. You would have hurt my daughter...badly. Thank god that I slowed down some...you could have caused me to lose my unborn baby. Thank god that my car did what it was supposed to....you could have hurt me...worse.

I think about you when I drive through the intersection everyday, after coming to a stop because I never know who is on the other side of that huge bush. I think about you and how you were more concerned with clearing all the garbage out of your van in an attempt to find your insurance card than whether or not I was alright. I think about you trying to talk your way out of a fine while I sat and hoped that my baby would move just to let me know that she was ok. I think about you everyday and how in just one moment I could have lost so much.

I am in a perpetual driving circle because of you...I take my time and look out for idiot drivers and I watch for idiot drivers so it takes me more time. This is not a bad thing so for that I have to thank you.

I also have to thank you for spending 4 hours lying in a hospital bed hooked up to monitors to make sure that my baby was staying where she was supposed to. Thank you for the day of work that my husband had to miss. Thank you for the months of physiotherapy I went to and the bills that I had to pay for it. Thank you for making my pregnancy almost unbearable on some days because my body hurt so bad.

Thank you though for the lifetime of back pain that I will have to deal with. Thank you for the awful thoughts of car crashes that flash through my head while I am driving; waiting for my husband to come home from work and travelling to see my family. Thank you for the unbelieveable anger that I have experienced. I have never known anger like that before.

I am still angry. I know that many people have experienced much worse than my relatively minor accident and I can't begin to imagine their anger and hurt. I just know that today I will be more careful. My hope for you is that you are more careful too. I hope that you remember our one year anniversary and take the time to drive with care. Pay attention to the yield sign, you don't know what is on the other side of that huge bush either. Remember that you are no more important than any other person on the road and you don't need to be where you are going any quicker. Remember my car being towed away and that you caused that. Yes...I am still angry.

My hope for our second anniversary is that I can forgive you.