Feeling Bad

With my dear Nathan out of town for work the last 2 nights I have been sitting and catching up on some blog reading. What I should have been doing is catching up on some blogging but I just can't seem to find my blog mojo. I did post the other day (more of a rant than a real post...but it's there) and then after proof reading it (after publishing it...only a little backwards) I decided to review what I have written. I was surprised. Sometimes I don't think that it was me who actually wrote some of the things on here.

After getting over myself, which didn't take too long, I am shocked and amazed that I am still linked to any other blogs....all of which are very good and entertaining, basically the complete opposite of what mine has become. I guess right now I just want to say thanks to those of you who have been so kind to take a peek into my life. I promise that it will get more interesting. Soon.

Been There, Done That!

There is something that has been bugging the shit out of me all week. I am not sure why is it bothering me so much so I am hoping that by unloading it onto the internet that I will feel better.

I have 3 daughters, the oldest of which is going to be 12 in a month. If you do the math, that means that I have been a mother for almost 12 years. In those 12 years I have had to get out of bed for early morning and midnight feedings, midnight puke clean up and midnight "Mommy sleeping...she won't know I ate all the popsicles" refridgerator raids. I have spent sleepless nights with a chicken-pocked baby, driven countless late night kilometres with a cranky teether and paced a hole in my floor with a cold-stricken bundle of phlegm in my arms. I have done all the things that I can't remember about right now that were not a vision of perfection in Motherhood.

And then after all that, I added another to the mix. At this point Darian was ready to start school. I did almost all of the above mentioned over again, this time having to do it on more of a schedule. Just when life settled into a nice rut, with nearly self-sufficient children.....I did it again! Enter Ryleigh.

I have also contiued to live life while having children. I stayed up way too late drinking but still got up in the morning to tend to my kids. I am a human being who also gets sick with colds, flus and other various illnesses. I still got up and took care of my kids. Bad things happen in life but I always managed to make sure that if I wasn't caring for my kids, then someone was, but usually I was close by.

You are probably wondering by now where the hell I am going with this. Lately there has been someone in my life, that I spend a fair bit of time with, that likes to lament about how she never gets a break from the kids, she never gets to sleep in and so on and so on. She continues with how it must be nice that I get to sleep in on Sundays or that I have Darian and Camryn to help me with and to watch our baby, Ryleigh, when I want some time or a nap.

I have listened to these comments for sometime now and lately it has reached a point where I am ready to fire back at her. All the things that she complains about, the having to get up in the morning after a late night or working hard the day before, the trying to watch 2 kids while trying to keep house, or work, or study, all of it.....I have done it! I have done it for nearly 9 years longer than she has.

It is nice that I have 2 older daughters that help out with Ryleigh. It is nice that my husband knows how important Sundays are for me and that he and my kids treat me to a morning to sleep in and a day of minimal "Mom" work. It hasn't always been this way. I did not have a "Darian" when Darian was a baby. I did the work. I did not have a "Darian and Camryn" to help me when Camryn was a baby. I did the work. Nathan has not always had a Monday-Friday job. We have done the working weekends at all hours. We had a baby and lived 7 hours apart from each other!! I did the work!!

Now don't get me wrong. I love my kids and feel like the work that I have done is totally worth the effort as they are really great kids! I am just not impressed by hearing how much easier it is for me to be a Mother as opposed to my friend. I've had a get into everything 1 year old, a terrible 2 year old and an even worse than two 3 year old......twice before already!! You are not breaking new ground.....millions of us have done it before you and millions of us will do it after we are long done. My life as a Mother has not always been what it is today and for all I know it could change in the next hour. I refuse to feel bad for how things happen here. I don't feel sorry for you when you have had to get up early with kids and truthfully I probably never will.

I know that I have it good. I am thankful that I have it good. I will continue to be thankful that I have it good and the next time that this person reminds me of such perhaps I will thank her for reminding me!